“I’m not speaking to him.”
“No one’s talking to her.”
“They haven’t called each other in months.”
Lately it seems as though I hear words similar to these far too often. And I immediately want to know why. What happened? What could possibly be that bad for someone to stop talking to their friend, sister, brother, mother, daughter, father, son, etc. More often than not, it boils down to something so trivial. In the grand scheme of things does that difference of opinion really matter? Did that offending conversation really justify silence?
And if we really want to be honest, haven’t we said or done some things that we wish we could take back? And aren’t we relieved when our offenses are forgiven?
“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” – Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)
I am preaching to myself here, because I too fall into this trap. If my feelings get hurt, I would rather hide than face the situation. But I am learning that this is one of the enemy’s tricks. He wants to make us feel offended with each other and divide us.
“For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.” – Ephesians 6:12 (NLT)
Due to time and geographical distance there is someone who I had not talked to in a while. But it was more than that. She also had financial problems which seemed to leak to those around her. She would often ask friends and family for money. Many of those friends and family even received phone calls from debt collectors who were trying to find her. I realize that we all might go through hard times. But in this case, I felt that if she made better choices than she would have been able to do financially well. She was very smart and held a good job. So in a way I felt it was best to give her “tough love.”
The story goes much deeper than this. But none of that matters. What really matters is the I was wrong to not speak to this person. The story does not have a happy ending. This person has now passed away. After months of silence, I did not see her again until her funeral. So many regrets have haunted me ever since.
So if there is someone who you are not speaking to, please ask yourself, “Is it really worth it?” Whatever you argued about, is it really that important? And if the tables are turned and it is someone else that is not speaking to you – make an effort today to reach out to that person. If they do not except you’re peace offering, at least you will know that you tried. But please, just don’t live with the regret that I now live with.
The bottom line is always Jesus. He came to set us free from battles like these. And He gave us a new command, to love one another. If we keep that command in the forefront of our minds, perhaps that will help eliminate some of the snares that we fall into.
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.” – John 13:34 (NLT)